Say “Cheese!”

So, I feel like talking about cheese.  And some other stuff. But first, cheese.

Why cheese? I dunno, because it’s AWESOME! And because I have mostly abstained for the past few weeks. (Thanks for nothing, sinus infection. You can suck it big time.) As someone who cannot live long-term without cheese, aka: reasons I’ll never be vegan, I harbor a bit of cheese racism. I do not like any of the bleu cheeses. If you are a cheese and you have veins of mold, be gone! If you are feta, I will probably abstain from you or get you on the side. Why? Because you’ve got aggression problems and you talk over all the other flavors. If you are any variety of semi-soft cheese made from goat’s milk, get out of my face! I think you kind-of taste like dirty water and I’m not into that. Lastly, cream cheese. I don’t really know why I hate you, but I do. You want to be a cool, spreadable cheese like Boursin or mascarpone, but you’re just not. I’m sure I am a bigot toward other cheeses, but these are the big four. For the rest of you cheeses out there, GET IN MY BELLY, especially if you are beer cheese and there is a giant soft pretzel nearby.

The other stuff? First, some random tweet-esque thoughts.
(1) Allison Janney is the best thing about 10 Things I Hate About You.
(2) Gypsy toast.
(3) If you don’t know that Dick Wolf wrote School Ties, I seriously question our friendship.
(4) I’ve had an uncommon celeb crush on Cole Hauser & Michael Rapaport for years.

And finally, let’s talk about the weird things I’ve been smelling lately. Either my super-sniffer is better than I thought, or I’m having some serious olfactory hallucinations. The other day, I swore I could smell Indian food. Yesterday, I caught a whiff of nag champa incense. And this morning, all I could smell was tuna fish salad. Let me tell you, none of these smells go great with a whole-grain waffle with peanut butter.


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